sexy_sha | (no subject)

(no subject)

When Gojyo wakes up, he's back in his room.

It would have been so easy to dismiss the memory as a dream, and god, he would really like to. But the physical evidence is clear: the scratches on his chest are faint and nearly healed, but the ring of nail marks around the base of his cock will itch for another two days at least.

Not a dream, then.

He showers and dresses on automatic, chaining through a never-ending series of cigarettes (fresh, they're always fresh: the only thing that doesn't reset every night is him) until the room is lost in a cloud of acrid gray smoke.

He's never felt so betrayed. Love is supposed to hurt -- Mom taught him that -- but he never expected it to hurt like this. He's always known Hakkai would leave him one day. The people he cares about always leave him, that's just a given, like the sun rising. But to torture him first, until he broke and begged... that he can't forgive. Gojyo doesn't have much in the way of pride, but there are some things a man can't let go unpunished.

Hakkai is somewhere in this hotel, and Gojyo's going to find him. Now.

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A second punch, this time a strong left hook, interrupts Hakkai yet again.

You said you loved me.

"Why shouldn't I?" he mocks, kicking the books at his feet aside to ensure his footing. "You left me hurtin' for an hour, figure I owe you the same."

I should have known you were lying.

He punctuates his words with another punch. And another.

Another wave of coppery warmth spreads through his mouth, but this time it sprays out in a fine mist as Hakkai drops after a couple of good punches. While he might be on the floor now, a good part of that is simply that it's easier to defend himself when he's a bit lower down. Of course, that doesn't mean that he's actively trying to stop Gojyo... In fact, he really isn't doing much at all.

As furious as he is, Gojyo can't just beat on another man when he refuses to defend himself. He raises his hand again, this time for a slap, but then changes his mind and drops his arm heavily to his side.

"You bastard." There's blood smeared all over his hands -- mostly Hakkai's some his own from a split knuckle -- and the stink gets up into his head as he lights his cigarette. "But now I know." It's almost funny, isn't it? "Now I know exactly how much I meant to you."

"Almost as much as I meant to you when you forgot me in lieu of that fucking bastard."

Yes, it's mean. So? Hakkai isn't as nice as he used to be. Really, was he ever?

Rising from the floor, he stares long and hard at Gojyo before moving to snatch the cigarette from between his lips.

"Stop it. You hide behind those damned things as much as I hide behind my smiles."

Immediately Gojyo responds by backhanding Hakkai as hard as he can.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" he shouts, far too loudly for the small space. "I've had enough of your hands on me for one lifetime."

He's not sure what rings harder in his head; the snap of Gojyo's hand or the verbal hate. Both circle in his head, spinning enough to make Hakkai almost nauseous but at the core of it all, that dark little kernel remains. It urges him to make the redhead pay.

He couldn't stand up to me if I really wanted to hurt him. I could hurt him so easily... I could make him pay... break him... kill hi-

... no.

One eye is already swelling up as he turns his head to look at Gojyo.

"... I understand."

Part of him winces as the bruises on Hakkai's face, but he doesn't let his discomfort show. Hakkai likes pain, right? Isn't that what he said? So he should be loving this.

"Do you?" he asks, pulling out another cigarette and daring Hakkai with a glare to do anything about it. "'Cause I don't think you have the first fuckin' clue." He jabs the cigarette at Hakkai emphatically as he speaks, sorely tempted to jab it into Hakkai's skin.

"I fucked some chick, and you made me beg.. And it wasn't th'hotel makin' you do it, you weren't bein' controlled. I fucked some girl, and you paid me back by pokin' at me while I begged... I fuckin' begged," he repeats, his voice cracking.

"And yeah, I didn't want to take your cherry," he continues, before Hakkai can interrupt. "I didn't want t'make you bleed, so how does that make me th'bad guy? For once..." His voices cracks again, and Gojyo sucks hard on his cigarette, blinking away the smoke. "For once, I thought you might like somethin' nice. Somethin' that didn't hurt."

He can't look Hakkai in the eye. His glare is fixed on Hakkai's face, but he's looking through the other man's head, not actually seeing him at all. "But if all you want is pain," he says at last, "then I'll give you pain, asshole. I'll give you all the pain you want."

Hakkai might like pain, but not this kind. This kind bruises far too deep and the wounds last far too long, but the thing that might just hurt worst is the fact that Gojyo can't meet his gaze. Chest tight and stomach in knots, he glances away, locking his gaze on a nearby wall.

Discomfort washes over him as he reaches up to touch his still bloody lip. How many times this week has it bled now?

"... I don't- I... I'm... sorry."

"I don't want to hear it."

The room is suddenly far too small and stuffy. Gojyo takes another drag off his cigarette and blows the smoke out to the side with a huff. Way too small, and way too dark. He needs to be outside, somewhere he can see the sky, with dozens of people around. Not trapped like this.

"You said you loved me," he says, finally meeting Hakkai's eye. There's no way for him to hide the hurt there, and he doesn't even bother trying. With a shake of his head, Gojyo turns for the door, calling over his shoulder as he goes.

"I should have known better."

"... how dare you?"

Heat flares under Hakkai's skin. It's a fire of anger and frustration, fanned by Gojyo denial and it's done something that Gojyo's beating couldn't do.

Visible eye blazing, he strides towards Gojyo, his body tense.

"At least I don't forget you while I fuck someone else. A pretty pair of tits and the green eyed monster you keep behind closed doors isn't enough to even think about, is it?"

"We're not fuckin' married, Hakkai!" Gojyo spins about, arm reaching out to push Hakkai back. "We screwed. That's it. I don't remember swearing to never bang another girl ever again, and I sure as fuck don't remember promisin' to be thinkin' about you while I was bangin' her!"

And there it is.

We screwed. That's it.

His own arm snaps out to knock him away. If he happens to hit a wall, then so be it.

"I'm well aware of that and I've never asked you for monogamy. I suppose I just expected more out of someone that claimed to care. Now I see I was mistaken. After all, you're easy as long as your partner has something tight to wrap around your dick."

Hakkai's talking, but all Gojyo hears is you're stupid and a slut and this is all your fault.

So he responds the only way he can, dropping his cigarette and swinging hard for Hakkai's face.

This time, the hit misses, but Hakkai's returning the gesture. Of course, he's holding back, but deep down, no matter how angry he is, he really doesn't want to kill the redhead.

Gone is the Hakkai that's willing to take it from him.

"You lied to me. You've always lied to me. At least I only lie to myself."

The blow rocks his head back, and it hurts, but there's nothing Hakkai can do to him anymore that'll hurt as badly as being betrayed.

"I've never fucking lied to you!" He throws another punch at Hakkai, hard enough to crack the shelf behind him if he misses. "When did I fucking like to you!?"

Snarling, he snaps his hand out to meet the oncoming punch. It deflects it a bit, but it still catches him along this side of his face. His head snaps around and absently, Hakkai can feel teeth loosen, but for now, it's the last thing on his mind. Teeth gritted, he turns back to Gojyo, his hands hot and glowing with chi.

"You claimed to love me and I know you lied about that."

Gojyo hunches his shoulders, ready to dodge the incoming chi-ball.

"I don't even know what th'fuck that word means."

Really? Try two.

"Yes. I see that now. Raised by a whore so what else could I expect?"

Bring it on. He dodges bullets -- chi balls are slow as bubbles in comparison. ...And okay, sure, the second one scorched him a bit, but no real damage done.

At least, not to his skin. Hakkai's words aren't words that can be taken back, and Gojyo, unthinking, lashes out in reply.

"I guess you'd know all about whores, after fuckin' your s--"

It was easy enough to hear two idiots fighting from a distance. Frowning, Sanzo moved closer and closer until he was right there watching them try to kill each other.

Raising his gun he fired two warning shots.

That just happened to barely miss both of their faces.

"Oi. Shut up."

There was a moment where everything went still in Hakkai's mind, but it was soon washed away in red rage. Snarling, he moves to reach for the limiters in his ear when the air between them is split by two shots...

Green eyes blazing, he turns that murderous gaze on the intruder and right then, the only difference between him and the demon inside is the still human skin he's wearing.

He's only too aware of how close he just came to dying. Breathing hard, Gojyo leans back against the nearest bookcase and runs a shaking and blood-stained hand through his hair.

"Sanzo," he greets the monk, as though it hasn't been months since they've seen each other, as though Sanzo didn't just stop Gojyo's best friend from ripping him apart. "What kept ya?"

Ignoring that question, he narrowed his eyes as he looked between the two of them. Anyone who came in here could tell these two had been fighting.

"What is going on here?" Sanzo eyed Hakkai for a moment before looking at Gojyo. The look said that this had better be good.

Hakkai spares another heated look to Gojyo and his nonchalance. Fingers better suited to healing linger over those well worn metal clips before he slowly allows his hand to drop. Scowling, he steps over the pile of discarded books and starts for the door.

"It's none of your business, Sanzo."

Gojyo doesn't look at Hakkai. Not once. And the familiar cocky grin he favors Sanzo with is worn around the edges.

"We were just clearin' somethin' up," he drawls, carefully tapping a cigarette out of his battered pack. "Nothin' for you t'worry about, Sanzo-sama."